Member Profiles
Below are some brief member profiles to give prospective prospective members an idea of the personalities that form our No Kidding! chapter.
Laura, Chapter Leader & Spokesperson (late 20's, married to Vincent, Harvard Law Student). I have known for some time that I do not want children, for both population and personal reasons. I am heavily interested in the political aspects of being childfree, including discrimination, education, and birth control access.
Vinny, 28, married (to Laura) Spokesperson, No Kidding! International. I'm 28 years old, male, and happily sterilized. I've known for quite some time that I did not want children, and starting from when I was 19, I went through an intense period of introspection about whether or not to make it permanent. I am generally neutral towards children themselves, but I am very sensitive to the political and economic issues of having/raising children. Otherwise, I'm engaged to the equally childfree Laura, who is another member of the group...I'm currently finishing an MA in Psychology at Iona College, and I'm working in marketing research. I live in Queens, I'm into Star Trek, Boston Public, The Simpsons, and Jeopardy! Musicwise: King Crimson, Aphex Twin, Tori Amos, Moz/Smiths; vegetarian, agnostic, more that willing to talk to fencesitters on the childfree issue. Email me at blaubas@yahoo.com.
Allie, 22, single. My name is Allie. I'm 21 years old, and I'm childfree by choice. I began having feelings that told me I didn't want to have children when I was 8 years old (as a child myself, if you can imagine). Since then, those feelings transformed into convictions from years of research on the childfree lifestyle of others and extensive soul searching into myself. I don't have a dislike for children, as I'm presently at NYU studying to be an English teacher, but I would not want children of my own. Though I enjoy the classroom setting and I'm optimistic about one day becoming a teacher, the focus that I place on my needs now and myself in the future affirms my initial resistance towards one day becoming a mother. I consider myself very lucky to have close friends and a mom who support my decision and a group of companions who share my lifestyle. I anticipate that through NO KIDDING! I can both find support in people who have made the same decision that I have and disclose the message that not wanting to parent is a legitimate and commendable decision.
Bill, 40's, single. I've known all my adult life that I had no interest in children. Over the years, I've met many women on dates who say, "Of course I want children." That usually ends things. It's refreshing to meet a whole group of potential friends who share the same goal. I welcome meeting many more.
Tracy & Jared, 30-something, married. Tracy says: I have known from an early age that I would not have children since I never felt maternal. In fact, I generally feel uncomfortable around small children. However, I absolutely adore our "dogters" Sabrina and Annabelle and am just as dedicated to them as mothers are to their own children. We enjoy our childfree lifestyle and the freedom it affords us to spend time together, travel and enjoy cultural pursuits. This freedom was especially useful during our recent decision to enter the wine industry. While we have chosen to stay in the New York area, our decision process took us to France and Oregon, before ending up back here. If we had children, we could not have considered such ventures.
Jared says: I didn't always know that I wanted to be childfree, but that was because I didn't know that I had a choice! I always assumed that children were something we all had to have until a very insightful person told me that she did not ever want kids. I was about 18 at the time and replied, "You can do that?!?" I have been sure of my decision ever since - and married to that insightful woman for nearly 10 years. My life is something that I really value and I want to live it for me - while parents must commit 100 percent; to their children. I appreciate that some people can do this, but I cannot. Without children I hope to be able to not only enjoy my life more for myself, but enjoy it with my family (wife and dogs) and contribute more of my time to philanthropic activities.
John & Kathleen, early 30's, married. John and Kathleen have been together 12 years and married nearly 10 years. While Kathleen knew on some level she did not want children before adolescence, John gradually questioned the idea of "having children is just what you do- it's part of life" in college. The idea evolved and became firm as the years went by. "We have no instinctive, emotional desire to have children and see all the rational and legitimate reasons not to have them." Our lives are full and often spontaneous! We love our marriage and the dynamic of our relationship. As well, we like new opportunities and our freedom. Having a child permanently changes your life course - we feel it narrows it. While you can alter almost anything else about your life, once you have a child, you are technically always a parent. While the aforementioned is the most compelling, we have a variety of personal reasons (Kathleen never would be pregnant) as well as global concerns (environmental and societal issues) that have contributed to our decision. Ultimately we feel we are missing nothing. We also feel we can be better spouses, friends, professionals, extended family members, contributers to the community, etc, rather than selfishly focusing only on our children. We look forward to meeting other childfree individuals!
Cynthia, 40, married. I've never wanted to have children, I don't particularly like them, and I am sick of parents today who let their children do anything the little brats want to in public places. I can't count the number of movies and expensive dinners I've had ruined by crying babies and whining toddlers. NO KIDDING! offers me a place where I can vent these sorts of frustrations in a supportive environment.